The 10 traits of my dream secretary.

1. The ability to perform simple tasks without detailed instructions or heavy reliance upon the autonomic nerve system.
2. The ability to whine quietly WHILE doing work.
3. The ability to remember how to do something within the first 5 attempts at doing it.
4. The ability to forego a public annoucement of the need to pee.
5. The abilty to realize that on the ship of industry, your job is to row, not to steer or to complain about the steering or to say how you would steer or to discuss steering in any capacity.
6. The ability to allow simple things to be simple without needlessly complicating them.
7. The ability to realize that filing a union complaint will not make you everyone else's boss.
8. The ability to understand that the office temp is not your secretary - secretaries don't have secretaries.
9. The ability to do anything that doesn't involve blaming or creating the future opportunity to blame someone else.
10. The ability not to bad mouth everyone you've ever met including children and family members - we realize that we're part of everyone too.