8 hobo cologne scents.

1. Stew
2. Stink Lines
3. Bad Mango (limited availability for Brazilian hobos)
4. Spitoon
5. Pork and Beans
6. Stogies and Chives
7. Eau de Boxcar
8. Sierra Mist

WTF OBAMA LEFT TOWN!!! How my world has changed since Air Force One lifted off.

1. Hope-ier has devolved into hopeyish. Funny how there's a 'y' in hopeyish and not hope-ier.
2. The twittering of local bluebirds echoes with sadness
3. It is clear to me now that our glittering streets are just ordinary streets. Turns out the glitter was nothing more than the sun reflecting off pools of hobo urine.
4. I had hoped to ask him for a heart or brain or courage but I didn't get anywhere near him. All I got was road blocks and shattered dreams.
5. My stimulated package is now experiencing double-digit deflation.

5 ways our country might have benefited had we shown the wisdom to put a hobo in the White House.

1. A hobo would have met with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, told him a sad story about his abusive father and ended up getting a confirmable cessation of the Iranian nuclear program as well as a plate of hot beef stew and a five dollar bill.
2. A hobo would have solved our unemployment problem one odd job, mowed lawn, or painted fence at a time.
3. A hobo would have ended our mortgage crisis by pushing for a stimulus package that provided bindles and tattered suit coats to anyone in danger of losing their home so that they could hit the open road and sleep under the stars.
4. A hobo would have moved the US capital from Washington DC to Britt, Iowa. The government could have operated just as effectively but for much less cost in the hobo capital and DC could have been sold off to rich robber-barons.
5. A hobo would have declared "Big Rock Candy Mountain" as our unofficial national anthem and the lure of cigarette trees and hens that lay soft-boiled eggs would have led us all to a new age of cooperation and unity.