6 things my cat would say if she spoke English

1. Enough with the tail pulling. It was cute when I was a kitten but now it's just annoying.
2. What are you looking at? You looking at me?
3. I'll tell you when you've spooned enough squishy food in my bowl. Keep going.
4. Okay, now you've done it. I have no choice but to scratch you.
5. And about that vet. You should see what she shoves up my ass when you're not looking.
6. You know you want to. Pet the kitty.