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May 6, 2008

4 things Hilary Clinton might say if her pander filter short circuited.

1. Everyone gets a kitten. Unless of course you don't like kittens. Then I'd say I don't really like kittens. Everyone gets a puppy. Unless you don't like puppies. Then you can have whatever you want. Just tell me what you need and I'll be that person.
2. I don't cast my lot with elite opinion. Just because physicists tell us that gravity exists it doesn't mean it does. You can't see it. You can't chase it with a shot of Royal Crown. My opponent thinks that gravity exists and that shows just how out of touch he is with the common man.
3. My perfect day is shooting some guns, chugging some beers, and spending some time at a nice respectable white church. Oh, and wearing a flag pin and bombing Iran.
4. The price of bread has skyrocketed. I propose Free Bread June. You can have all the white bread you want for free. My opponent eats foccacia or whatever it is that Muslims eat. He doesn't understand white bread. White. Did I say white?

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