5 reasons you are lowering the national IQ

1. Led Zepplin, The Doors, and Pearl Jam are considered popular "classic" rock bands.
2. Fox News viewers represent approximately 0.0068% of our population but they are confused and believe that they are a majority feel because fewer idiots watch MSNBC and CNN. (Numbers provided by a a laudatory Hollywood Reporter article and the Marxist US Census Bureau.)
3. Reality show producers convince millions that families like the Kardashians, people who sell houses, bakers, people who have digital cameras (currently known as ghost hunters), and mothers who exploit their children lead interesting lives filled with wacky adventures and fabulous adventures.
4. Whitney Houston, Brittany Spears, Mariah Carey continue to have come back. (Kudos for finally wising up about Madonna.)
5. Clothing stores are filled with distressed clothes which, although full-priced, are worn thin, frayed and filled with holes.

8 great enemy hordes

1. Nazis
2. Zombies
3. Orcs
4. Ninjas
5. Romulans
6. Aliens
7. Apes, a planet full of them
8. Commies

Who's trying to bring down Sarah Palin

1. John McCain's staff
2. Newsweek
3. Katie Couric
4. David Letterman
5. Canadian Shock Jocks
6. Newspapers
7. Russians (always breathing down her neck)
8. People who doubt her sparkiness

Honest to God* legal advice from Toyota concerning potential floor mat interference with the accelerator recall

1. Dislodge the floor mat and pull safely to the side of the road.
2. Use Sat-Nav to identify area pillow factories. Drive around the factory until you run out of gas.
3. Firmly and steadily step on the brake pedal with both feet.
4. Throw up hands to the heavens and begin singing "Jesus Take the Wheel."
5. Shift transmission gear selector to the neutral position and use the brakes to come to a controlled stop.
6. Leap from car and use tumbling body to come to an uncontrolled stop.
7. Turn off engine.
8. Question how stupid you must be if you don't know how to stop a car.

*more or less

5 reasons I have a hard time going to community theater performances

1. 1 minute of professional theater performace = 3 minutes of community theater performance so it becomes an endurance event.
2. It's awkward when the cast outnumbers the audience.
3. Everyone seems to use a cockney accent. (Fine for Oliver but weird for Oklahoma.)
4. The audience is composed of family members, other community theater people (who know that no one will come to their shows if they don't go to other's shows), and random old ladies who once dreamed of being a Ziegfeld girl.
5. It's wrong to encourage young people to waste perfectly good money going away to state colleges to study theater when they could get a bookkeeping certificate at a community college.

10 great cheese soufles from the 70s

1. Fox On The Run - Sweet
2. Run, Joey, Run - David Geddes
3. The Night Chicago Died -Paper Lace
4. Little Willie - Sweet (again!)
5. Hot Child In The City - Nick Gilder
6. Black Betty - Ram Jam
7. Long Tall Glasses -
8. The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgie - Vicki Lawrence
9. Billy Don't Be A Hero - Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods
10. Ballroom Blitz - Sweet (again again!!)

5 websites for old movie fans

1. Turner Classic Movies
2. IMDB
3. Dr. Macro
4. Find A Grave - for closure
5. New York Times movie review archive Looking for a review of 1932's Doctor X by someone who doesn't live in their parent's basement? Here you can get a review written when it was first released. (If you don't want to subscribe to get access, Google NY Times movie review and the name of the movie and you're bound to find a cached page.

6. ???? any recommendations?