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July 22, 2009

Tips to help you start your career as a carny.

1.  You should expect to provide your own tee-shirts with the sleeves torn off.
2.  Fancy professional tattoos are fine but employers will be looking for prison tattoos.  You do not need to have spent time in prison - just get an ink pen and a needle and then poke away.
3.  Not all carnival ride systems use color coded tickets. You should be prepared to count.
4.  Most of your diet will consist of food fried on sticks but this doesn't mean you shouldn't carry knife.
5.  During your interview, don't bogart that spleef.  The carny life is all about sharing.
6.  A classic carny interview tactic involves the juke box (interviews tend to be in bars.)  The interviewer will hand you a dollar and tell you to pick a song.  The correct answer is Rock Me Like A Hurricane by The Scorpions.
7.  Creepiness is to be encouraged. 
8.  Never go into an interview unless you are gloriously tanned.  Pale folks aren't carny material.
9.  If the interviewer asks about Carny Wilson, act like you don't know her.


  1. "Carny Wilson? I've never heard of her. Am I hired?"

  2. That's one of my favourite songs...Should I be a carny?

  3. Michael: You're on the right path.

    Misery: Yes, if you love this song, carny is your only career option.