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July 25, 2009

5 evolutionary traits of nerds including those that give them the edge over jocks.

1. Nerds convert Mountain Dew and Skittles into follicle and facial oils, which act as irritants to jock flesh.
2. Glee club provides an opportunity to develop relationships with cute girls who might defend them.
3. A doughy physique absorbs the impact of jock punches. Jocks have developed an evolutionary response in the "pink belly" since it deals it damage to the surface of nerds.
4."Continuity", particularly in terms of Star Wars and Star Trek, is a mating ritual. Male nerds who are able retain episode numbers and plot summaries are more likely to mate with female nerds.
5. Information technology careers provide more stable income than the insurance and car sales jobs performed by most jocks.


  1. Love #1. So true. Do you hear about The Dyer Boys? They are supposedly closing up shop!

  2. Ungirdled: I hadn't heard about the Dyers. I've been so busy I haven't been tuned in very well. I can appreciate their position. I'm somewhere around post 550 and it's really hard to come up with ideas lately. I want to wither away painfully like the last season of Happy Days but recently I've considered what the end point might be. Maybe when I'm done I'll still have the ability to form complete thoughts and sentences - a skill that has left me.