Advice to America's youth from Walter Breuning, the world's oldest man, on his 113th birthday.

1. zzzzzzzzzz *snort* zzzzzzzzzzzzz
2. Shut up ya little monsters
3. What we need is a good war . . .
4. What? Who's Burt Day? Are you Burt Day?
5. When I was a boy, only sailors and whores got tattooed.
6. You remind me of a young Ruby Keeler.
7. Pull up your pants.
8. If I weren't a world record holder, I'd put you over my knee.
9. I don't care what Eisenhower thinks, 50 is way too many states.
10. Did I pee?