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July 15, 2009

The Prospect League All-Star game in list form.

1. I think I'll have a beer.
2. Hey, a home run derby!
3. Why do all of these 12 year old girls look like raccoons? Does Sherwin-Williams make mascara now?
4. Here comes, "o'er the land of the free." Is the R & B guy going to make the high note? YES!
5. I think I'll have a beer.
6. Okay, I'm not sure which it is. Either those pants are too small or her butt is too big.
7. This is the longest game I've ever seen. What inning is it . . . 5th!
8. Names on little girls softball uniforms: Brittanni, Sadye, Emiliee . . . hopefully they weren't breast-fed 'cause clearly their mamas are drinkers.
9. Thank God! Finally it's the top of the 9th and the home team is ahead. We can get this game over so I can go home. 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 outs. It's ovah!
10. Why are they playing the bottom of the ninth? Am I at a tee-ball game? 1 . . .2 . . .3 outs yeah!
11. Why are they taking the field for the 10 inning? Come on, hold them, you're still up by one run.
12. Top of the 10th, 1 out, man on 1st and 3rd. There going to at least tie it and then I'll be here until morning. Long drive to center field, it's caught, the throw to home is perfect! So good the guy on third stops and goes back but the guy on first is going for second! Catcher throws to second - double play! Let's go home!
13. Why are they taking the field for the bottom of the 10th? They've now lost twice. Why does the coach keep coming out to talk to the pitcher? You gotta be kiddin' me, you're bringing in a reliever? "You can't win!"
14. Come on guys! Stop scoring runs, you've already won.
15. Yeah! Pretty fireworks.


  1. #8 ... boy oh boy, some of the names that are used and the new phonetics that are from the 'future strippers of America' grammar book ... and #13, hoo boy! That would grate on me too! How many times does one have to get 'beat' before they begin to lose esteem?