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September 11, 2009

The Tea-Baggers are back! Ok, you can stop paying taxes as long as you agree to the following concessions.

1. You are no longer allowed to use streets or highways.
2. You are now officially responsible for educating your children rather than just telling everyone else what should be taught in public schools.
3. You must buy large hoses to put out your house if it catches fire.
4. If you end up in jail, you must pay room and board.
5. You are no longer allowed to vote in every election.
6. You know those community college - your tuition is 10x as high.
7. You must pay for 100% of your business costs - no more subsidies, incentive, or loopholes.
8. Military protection will require either a subscription or fee per use.
9. You may only access health care if 100% of all associated research was funded by private industry.
10. Senators and Congressional Representatives now cost twice as much - former Reps. like Dick Armey will remain cheap as chips.

3 comments:

  1. Oops, forgot one. On the 4th of July, you may not participate in any municipally sponsored event or fireworks. You must organize your own private patriotism event. This will likely include whining, grousing, and Fox News projected on a large screen so that you can all have a good cry for your America.

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  2. LOL - as a Canadian I enjoyed that ;)

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