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August 29, 2009

10 arguments in the same vein as "It was an awfully cool August so there's no such thing as global warming."

1. I didn't die today so I must be immortal.
2. I didn't have to go into work today so I must be unemployed.
3. It's not my birthday so I must have been created in a lab.
4. Mike Tyson has never thrown a punch at me so he must be afraid of me.
5. I love chicken so I must be a rooster.
6. I looked at the calendar so I must be able to see the future.
7. I'm typing this list so my name must be Gutenberg
8. The sky is red at sunset so I must be on Mars.
9. Heidi Montag danced on TV so she must be talented.
10. No one called me a moron today so I must be a genius.


  1. 11. I didn't drink milk today, therefore I must be lactose intolerant.

    12. I didn't drive a car today, so I must be Amish.

    13. I didn't get laid today, so I must be a virgin.

  2. Janna: Excellent additions. You am a quality debaterator too.

  3. 14. I didn't move my bowels today, so I must be constipated. Oh wait...I am.