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June 23, 2008

10 reasons that people hate "the green movement."

1. Crude oil tastes like honey to them.
2. Reusable grocery totes are specifically mentioned in The Communist Manifesto.
3. Can't read in bed with anything less than a 1000w bulb in their lamps.
4. Conservation is a sign that you aren't affluent. (If you can't afford to drive an H2 to pick up a gallon of milk, don't judge me.)
5. It snowed last winter so there's no such thing as global warming.
6. Conservation is sciencey and sciencey things are an affront to Jesus.
7. Main-stream liberal media. (No real reason here, just citing MSLM allows any fool to believe whatever they wish regardless of fact and can be used as unassailable proof in any argument.)
8. It's just a fad and anyone buying into it is naive.
9. Have you seen the size of a soccer ball? How can you expect to transport a soccer ball AND an 8 year-old in anything smaller than an Escalade?
10. We need lower taxes and smaller government. (I'm not sure what these have to do with being green but those who hate conservation seem to talk about these ideas a lot.)

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