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August 6, 2008

5 likely reasons for the day that I finally snap and end up in jail

1. Needless stoplights.
2. Crazy pet adoption ladies who lurk outside the hardware store on weekends trying to get you to take in a stray. (Do I need a weirdo suggesting that I lack the capcity to love because, despite having three pets, I could do more?)
3. People with loud mufflers. I can forgive a poor person with a rusted-out muffler but how can you passively accept morons who purposefully adapt their exhaust system to make a lot of noise? Do they call these loudlers rather than mufflers?
4. People who, when I’m at the mall, veer aimlessly into my personal space. Maybe it’s my fault that I have to drastically contort my body to avoid bumping into them? Maybe I’m invisible and they just don’t realize I’m there?
5. Lazy people who take the paycheck but who do nothing. I’m all for lounging, chilling, relaxing, etc. but that’s only after and if you’ve served your purpose in the world.

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