5 reasons why I don’t need a cat on me.

1. I broke my sternum years ago and they always seem to put their full weight on it.
2. I am male and have squishy parts down there and they always seem to put their full weight on them.
3. Can cats sleep on your lap without mindlessly clawing holes in your flesh?
4. I either end up with two cats sleeping on me or two cats fighting over who will be the one cat sleeping on me.
5. Somehow, a butthole ends up in my face.