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January 2, 2009

10 post-holiday thoughts

1.  Stop avoiding overeating at holiday events and start avoiding overeating at non-holiday events.
2.  Stop feeling guilty every time I hear a bell ring.
3.  Abandon goodwill and return to good riddance to my fellow Man.
4.  Banish indoor evergreen to the storage shed.
5.  Drive through streets uncluttered by yokels who have commenced yonder to the big city for shoppin'.
6.  Free to associate with others without fear of debilitating and unrelenting merriness.
7.  Able to again rot brain with television now that the networks are showing some effort - like there's no need for new programming during the second half of December.
8.  Cookies are once again simply tasty and not tasty and jolly.
9.  Able to finally refill prescription which prevents visions of sugar plums.
10.  Eggnog once again just a bad idea and not a reality.

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