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January 8, 2009

Why are hobos so healthy?

1.  Forever roaming from town to town burns 500 calories an hour.
2.  When hobo jocks sit around asking "how much can you lift?" they're referring to their bindles.  Repeatedly hoisting a bindle from the ground to your shoulder promotes lean muscle development and strengthens the core.
3.  Canned beans are a good source of fiber and, for pregnant hobos, folic acid.
4.  Tripping over baggy pants and falling to the ground while intoxicated is actually a hobo-yoga sequence:  Adho Mukha Scansana (Downward Facing Hobo) followed by Ardha Chandrasana (Hobo Half Moon - or Full Moon if the baggy pants end up around the ankles) followed by Shavasana (Corpse Position AKA The Dead Drunk Hobo.)
5.  Lice cleanse the blood of free radicals and are a natural cholesterol lowering agent.

1 comment:

  1. I love the word "bindle"!

    This list is twisted - I love it.