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April 12, 2009

10 tips for creating a successful blog.

1. Post pictures of yourself making funny faces and/or wearing funny hats. This proves that you’re interesting and have a great sense of humor.
2. Don’t delete those annoying email jokes that clutter up America’s email boxes. Copy and paste them into your blog to show the world that you are hip and current.
3. Write simple sentences that are 50% curse words. Richard Pryor used this technique in his exploration of racism and urban life so it just follows that it also spices up the thoughts of white, middle-class, suburban bloggers.
4. What’s new on the You-Tube? The Internet is too big and complicated so it’s your duty to mankind to embed those videos.
5. Read dozens of other blogs. Regardless of the content post the following comment: “LOL! You rock!”
6. Kittens. 90% of successful blogs have pictures of kittens.
7. Described yourself with words like twisted, off-kilter, and wacky or suggest that you have a mental illness involving schizophrenia or multiple personality disorder.
8. Remind your readers that, while you are indeed a parent, you are totally fun and wild.
9. Nothing is more entertaining that crazy pictures with hilarious words superimposed over them. Never were poor grammer more funny.
10. Avoided creating blogs specifically devoted to list-making. No one is really interested in reading that junk.


  1. You forgot the constant switching between languages. Everyone wants to translate between paragraphs...

  2. Hilarious! I especially like 6... cuz it's sooo true, but who doesn't love Kitties right?

  3. *slips quietly away to delete half of own blog content*
    New post coming soon: an off-kilter youtube video of a cursing kitten.

  4. Husbands: if I've said it once, I've said it a million times, LOL. You rock!

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  6. I will implement all of these ideas on my blog! Thanks for the wonderful suggestions!

  7. As a parent -- one that's totally fun and wild, but still a parent-- I can only say: LOL. You rock!

    Did you see that one bumper sticker that everyone's emailing around? I've made a Youtube video montage of it:


  8. Michael and Briane: You rock! (I've finally been rickrolled. I love that song. It rocks!)

  9. You did leave out making sure to publish posts about how you have absolutely nothing to blog about. That's fascinating content if ever I've read any.

  10. Starcasm: I left that out since nearly all of my posts begin this way and, occasionally, stray into a more purposeful topic. By the way, you rock!

    (In truth, Starcasm does rock and is worth a visit.)