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July 3, 2009

10 possible reasons for Sarah Palin's sudden resignation from office.

1. She plans to "hike the Appalachian Trail" (which we all know is code for some sort of filthy South American sex thing.)
2. Much more efficient to take money from special interest groups without the constant harassment from the State Personnel Board and their "ethics."
3. Needs to devote her full attention to David Letterman.
4. She needs to prep for her new show of Fox News. (When this happens, you'll think I'm an insider.)
5. She is in training to star in the film adaptation of Barack the Barbarian
6. USDA has recalled 10,000 pounds of Palins due to an e coli contamination.
7. She's been bitten by a vampire and just can't handle 19 hours of daylight in summer-time Alaska.
8. She hears Hef has a new opening in his harem....finger crossed he's lookin' for cougar for a change.
9. She wants to spend more time readin' newspapers.
10. Politicians who decide not to run for re-election are just losers who draw a paycheck and she just won't put the good people of Alaska through this. Wait, I'm just trying to come up with stupid reasons for her resignation but she actually said this.


  1. 11. The people who normall file her elections papers all resigned and she doesn't know how to do it herself.

  2. 12. She discovered she really couldn't see Russia from her front yard.

  3. by now her friends and foes have had a chance to react to Palin's announcement, now for the late-night shows...

  4. 13. Um...she's fucking crazy?