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May 13, 2008

4 things I'd accomplish in the first 100 days of my Presidency

1. Establish Ministry of Nicknames. There will be a nickname for everyone although not all will be unique. List of most popular nicknames will include Murgatroid (numbers 1 through 1,000,000.)
2. Make nice with Canada. I like their beer and they seem like good folks.
3. Take over Major League Baseball and reestablish it as a non-profit organization. (Come on, $8.50 for a beer. They're just asking to be taken over.)
4. Outlaw low-rise pants. (Do they look good on anyone?)

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