10 US Census data points that should be collected so I know where NOT to live

1. People who own cars or motorcycles with exhaust systems designed to make noise rather than to muffle the sound of their obnoxious engines.
2. Trucks with testicles.
3. People who spend an inordinate amount of their time writing letters-to-editors, listening to talk radio, or watching cable news channels.
4. Hippies - although they should be categorized into fun hippies and obnoxious hippies. It's hard not to like a fun hippie.
5. People who go through life feeling that everyone they encounter is determine to assault, rape, car-jack, defame, or pillage them.
6. Muffin-tops.
7. Anyone over the age of 25 who first thinks, "getting a tattoo/face piercing will make me attractive/cool/edgy.
8. People who demand to know what Brittany/Ashton/Lindsey/Paris/Nicole/JoliePitt/anyone on The Hills have done in the past 24 hours.
9. Women who wear specially purchased "outfits" particularly those that involve denim or themed sweaters.
10. People who equate morality with their personal/political beliefs.