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October 16, 2008

5 things Joe the Plumber said during the media blitz that weren't reported.

1. Kindergarten is a liberal plot designed to get our children to walk in lines.
2. Ted Kennedy. (Not sure what this means but saying it earns points with his base.)
3. I didn't say plumber, I said aplomb. I'm Joe the completely self-assured.
4. Do you think I look like Mr. Clean? I heard that guy died about a month ago. You think they'd hire me to replace him? What? That guy did the commercials and now it's just a drawing? I could be a drawing.
5. Don't tell McCain, but I used to belong to the Natural Law party which based it's platform on the teachings of the Marharishi Mahesh Yogi and which believes "all political problems can be solved through aligning one's self with the Unified Field of all the laws of nature." Also, the party can't always decide on a presidential candidate from within its ranks so they sometimes pick Ralph Nader or whoever the Socialist party picks. But don't tell McCain. He'll look like he says things without thinking them through very well.


  1. Things Joe would say if he were a democrat:
    1. Bald people have to rise up and fight back against follicular discrimination.
    2. Doesen't matter what the new plan is lets just change it.
    3. McCain kinda looks like George Bush and he clearly isn't bald.
    4. I make a nice living and deserve to be punished.
    5. Biden has less hair than Palin so he uses less energy to style it, this proves his dedication to energy conservation.

  2. Inspiring other's to list is my life's goal. Thank you.