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December 11, 2008

5 reasons I'm not a good Christmas party guest

1. Egg nog sort of tastes like milk that you've dropped a Renuzit air freshener in.
2. How many cheese balls are considered dangerous to one's health?
3. Okay, you have a Santa hat. I get it. Now take it off and shut up.
4. Peppermint makes me belligerent and alcohol makes me hateful so no thank you, I don't want to shoot some schnapps with you, you party animal you.
5. Oh, gee, thank you. Had I known that you . . . what's your name again? Frank? You're in purchasing, right. Yeah, well had I known that you were going to buy me this nice Christmas ornament and put it in this festive gift bag with a fistful of Hershey's kisses I would have stabbed myself repeatedly in the throat and I'd be in the hospital now having a considerably better time.

2 comments:

  1. Actually, you sound like GREAT party guest.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Stop trying to shun your destiny....

    ReplyDelete