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February 24, 2009

5 reasons I'm not watching tonight's Presidential address.

1. I couldn't lie on the couch and stand up to applaud every 60 seconds.
2. Can't take time away from collecting aluminum cans for my retirement account.
3. It only takes a few moments for me to get lost in Barack's eyes and then there's no telling what I'll support. Nationalize banking? Whatever you say Barry.
4. That Geitner guy - he has drag queen eyebrows (I swear someone said these exact words to me just now.)
5. The President's Keynesian policies force me to accept that I can't tell my Keynes from a hole in the ground - I don't even know what that sentence means I'm so clueless.

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