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March 5, 2009

10 diseases of the eye (real and metaphorical)

1. Glaucoma
2. Real Housewives of Orange County, Atlanta, and New York
3. Conjunctivitis
4. Frank Langella running naked down the hallway in 1997's "Lolita". There was no warning so I couldn't avert my eyes and 12 years later I still can't get it out of my head.
5. Macular Degeneration.
6. Tyra Banks. Watching her opens a direct pathway for uselessness to run between the outside world and my brain.
7. Stargardt's Disease
8. Octomom's pregnant stomach AKA a topographical map of Patagonia.
9. Diabetic Retinopathy
10. Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

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