Unemployed? Friendless? It doesn't matter why you have so much free time, these great blogs will help you waste away the tedious hours you have left on this earth.

April 26, 2009

My anti-bucket list: 10 things to go to my grave having avoided.

1. Knowing the love of my fellow prisoner.
2. Attending a Celine Dion concert.
3. Skydiving - adrenaline smadrenaline, it hurts enough falling at ground level.
4. Seeing a picture of President Palin at the post office.
5. Buying one of those donut pillows one must buy after certain surgeries.
6. Being tattooed or pierced. I'm expressing my rebellious nature but being uniquely uninked or unpoked.
7. Wearing acid-washed jeans. Survived this the first time around.
8. Waxing - a sign that there's something wrong with women. (OK, another sign.)
9. Grappling with the choice of killing or not killing Hitler. (I'm still relatively young so it's best to plan for future development of time travel.)
10. Milking of all sorts: cows, goats, rattlesnakes, audience laughter, bleeding-hearts sympathy, prostate, etc.

10 comments:

  1. Wow. How apropos. I just finished watched THE BUCKET LIST with my son. JUST finished. Then I got on Twitter and saw your status. Wow. I think this must mean something about fate and connection or something. I know that I have a reputation for lying, but we really did just get done watching that movie. I have the blockbuster's receipt to prove it. Great list BTW.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You've never worn acid washed jeans??? Take that off your list immediately! They're coming back in style. I can feel it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very nice blog. Excellent contents. All your blogs about Hindu saints are very nice. I like your blog. I am so proud to Vote and just now I voted for your blog in blogger choice awards. Keep it up and write more please. I invite your valuable visit and suggestions about my blog, I have suggested your site to my frnds like Toofast10 and Masiz. Hope that they also vote for you. http://businessvartha.blogspot.com
    Please check your account in bloggerchoice awards to see my vote. I hope you are so kind to vote for my blog also
    http://bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/69551

    ReplyDelete
  4. This lady is so nice that she wrote the EXACT same thing in my comments! I was wondering if she read any of it because honestly i do not write about Hindu Saints. But for the most part, one good thing, I enjoyed your blog greatly! I love your anti bucket list, but c'mon on down to the farm and you can help milk some goats!
    I will cast my vote for your blog, because seriously I have enjoyed reading it no matter.
    :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. She was at mine, too. Very polite spammer.
    I have recovered. Just skydived into a Celine Dion concert- the 'chute failed, but I was save by my haemmorhoids cushion...
    Dude, you are supposed to acid-wash your jeans BEFORE you put them on.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Rattlesnakes! Did you say Rattlesnakes?!?


    *MMM faints*

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nano: Clearly you are a liar. No one has ever actually watched The Bucket List. I would never hold lying against you but don't let me catch you watching that movie.

    Tina: I drew the line at mullets back then and I'm sticking with that in future iterations.

    Businessvartha: Thank you for your frank and honest review of my blog.

    Haley: Goats have double-pupiled eyes and hooves so clearly they are the devil. My religion doesn't allow me to milk the devil.

    Husbands: I've never worn acid-washed jeans so I haven't done this but, now that you mention it, I was hospitalized for a week following my stone-washed jeans incident.

    Me Me: Sorry, I forgot you were in the desert. Pretend I said puff-adder instead.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hey, wait. Isn't "Milk the Devil" a Black Sabbath album?

    ReplyDelete
  9. I went to a Kenny G/Michael Bolton concert once. One thing I wish I had avoided before going to my grave.

    So which is your favorite Hindu saint? I always leaned toward St. Vishnukarabi. Don't ask me why or if he's actually a saint...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Re: waxing....isn't it just that women have a higher pain-tolerance than men? I'll never shave again....execept for maybe the occasional upper lip. And it's not my fault that you once asked me to wax the back of your neck and it all went horribly, horribly wrong.

    ReplyDelete