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April 24, 2009

My day in answers.

1. What's that smell? (Could be dog urine, could be feet, could be olfactory symptom of a minor stroke. Probably dog pee.)
2. Do these clothes match? (Let see, what goes with tan. Beige? Taupe? )
3. Is it these clothes that smell? (Could be but it's late so just don't get too close to anyone today.)
4. Is this job worth it? (It's a vicious circle but the job pays for the liquor and the liquor makes the job fade away.)
5. How can someone be so incompetent? (The act of earning a PhD is, to some extent, an admission of incompetence.)
6. Do I want another piece of pie? (Yes, please.)
7. Is it time to go home yet? (Nope.)
8. How about now? (Not quite.)
9. What's wrong with my dog's penis now? (This time just an infection but the last two times were paraphimosis. Picture a banana getting caught out of its skin so that a doctor has to cut open the banana, put the banana back in, and then sew the banana back up. Now picture my dog's banana dragging the ground, purple, and swollen too large to fit back into its banana skin.)
10. Is is possible to write a list after a mind numbing day? (You be the judge.)


  1. Inspiration must be running thin in your neck of the woods... Dude, tan! Seriously...
    Again with the dog-phallus imagery! Welcome to the weekend.

  2. Well, now bananas are out of my life.

  3. ";The act of earning a PhD is, to some extent, an admission of incompetence." LOL! My fiance is gtting his PhD. That's why I'm in Texas. I will pass this little nugget on to him.

  4. Husbands: you are correct on the inspiration. There were actually 3 other lists written and rejected. Give the quality of this one, you can only imagine what I rejected.

    JT: Be sure to eat lots of whole grains in place of banana or you might develop seborrhoeic dermatitis. Of course, accept my nutrition advice with the same confidence that you accept the other facts you find in my lists.

  5. Tina: not Elmers are incompetent (PhD is pronounced Fudd.) Tell him that whenever he feels that bubble surrounding him to force himself to have a conversation that does not revolve around his discipline.