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June 1, 2009

10 pairings I obeserved or experienced at the Super Walmart.

1. Short-shorts and cellulite
2. Chewing gum and toothlessness
3. Sushi and lite beer
4. Old lady buying a six-pack or Ensure and a single banana and paying with a check
5. Hair spray and bangs
6. Tramp stamps and stretchmarks
7. Lonely women and 50 lb bags of cat food
8. Black SUVs and near-death experiences in the parking lot
9. Disposable diapers and cheap wine
10. Fried chicken and diet soda


  1. I was jonesing due to Earl's Out of Order Day.
    Then you came with the Walmart....I always shop there for cat food...

  2. Whoops! What I meant to say was Ensure is on sale this week at Walmart....

  3. Not that they are in any way related, but...

    11. Cheap garden tools and Mexicans.

    Muay apologetico!

  4. The weird thing, I went to Wal Mart today, and experience EVERY SINGLE ONE of this top ten (eleven)!

  5. I didn't realize that Walmart was sophisticated enough for sushi! :)

  6. And funny thing about it...as the world of business crumbles around us........Walmart and McDonalds are big "Chiefs".

  7. Was this list supposed to make me horny? Please say yes.

  8. Hilarious. And totally true. I used to go to a Walmart around 10:30pm when I got off work. I never knew what I would see. This list is a fair example!

  9. Mom: You might check out DDyer's comment - a love connection maybe?

    Earl: If Father Tesch is still in the picture, sorry for trying to help you Mom hook-up.

    Big Mark: That is the secret of their success. Every Walmart is the same so you can go to any of them and know what to expect.

    Lady Sarcasm: I had a #3 for dinner. My edemame salad had "mountain" listed in the ingredients. I don't know what that means but I hope it's not Asian slang for "I scratch myself".

    Anon: This Walmart has a McDonalds inside of it.

    DDyer: If this list gets you going, you should subscribe to "Sushi and Stretchmark Enthusists" - all the pictures are B&W but it still works.

    Michael: Poor taste never sleeps - or brushes its teeth.

  10. Yikes. I'm glad I don't have a WalMart near me.

  11. Wow...and I've seen these all at our local WalMart, too!

  12. I always leave Wal-Mart with a case of E. Coli and Legionairre's Disease.