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June 15, 2009

June 20-28 is Worldwide Vegan Bake Sale. Here are 10 things you can expect to find at your local vegan bake sale.

1.  Cookies that taste like library paste and flax seed.
2.  The pungent aroma of patchouli and unwashed dreadlocks.
3.  Dessert loaves made with all sorts of old vegetables.
4.  Warm carob chip cookies and ice cold rice milk.
5.  Cupcakes that are both tough and spongy.
6.  Self-righteous indignation repackaged as a trendy socially aware lifestyle.
7.  Frosting made from earth-friendly vegan shortening (which officially doesn't count as a partially hydrogenated oil since it's not that common bourgeois shortening you can get at Walmart.)
8.  8-grain sherbet.
9.  Tired people impatiently waiting for everyone to leave so that they can jam.
10.  Secret burger-eaters.


  1. 11. Parking lots filled with Prius' and Volkswagens with Kerry '04 stickers covered with Obama '08 stickers.

  2. HEY! I've got a Prius and all of my food is animal based. I'm eating gummi bears right now.

  3. Hello Mr. Daily List,

    I loved library (or any kind) of paste when I was younger. Oh, did you say paste, with an E?

  4. I think the most abundant product will be #6, no doubt.