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April 5, 2009

5 comments to the Illinois Department of Revenue (please don't audit me.)

1. It's a really good idea to force me to file my taxes online. I needed to be knock off my high horse.
2. Your tele-filing system is brilliantly designed. I didn't have to start over once. (Three times yes, but not once.)
3. I now know by heart my spouse's Social Security number, Drivers License number, and the fabulous new 9-digit PIN that you were so gracious in providing her. Redundantly redundant.
4. It was great pulling out my 2007 Federal 1040 in order to pay my 2008 state taxes. Kind of like flipping through my old year books.
5. I don't care what everyone else says, you are not a dirty whore.


  1. Oh, man -- I bet you're going to get audited so hard your READERS will get sucked into the revenue vortex.

    Speaking of which, I was never here. Cover for me.

  2. #2 - hilarious and true

    #3 - see #2

  3. When I receive my "reminders" from the revenue department, I just write "DECEASED" on the envelope and send it back to them. So far, so good.

  4. Briane: you're the one who said the IL Revenue Dept. sucked. I think they're groovy myself.

    Jeff: it just ain't right that I only get to enjoy the fun once a year.

    Me-Me: in Illinois the dead must still pay taxes because they're still allowed to vote.