Poor man/rich man (If you reverse the order it's not a copyright infringement.

1. Poor people have a house full of beat up old furniture they found on the side of the road. Rich people have a house decorated by a high-priced designer who paid top dollar for shabby chic furniture found by some shop-owner on the side of the road.
2. Poor people rely upon the government to redistribute wealth because they're too stupid to make money. Rich people rely upon the government to bail them out because they're too stupid to make money.

3. Poor people continue to have babies so that they can continue getting food stamps. Rich people continue to adopt third-world babies so that they can continue getting magazine covers.

4. Poor people think they deserve hundreds of dollars in Earned Income Credit even though the only thing they've done to earn it is being poor. Rich people think they deserve millions of dollars in bonuses even though the only thing they've done to earn it is being rich.

5. Poor people buy inexpensive clothes and then wear them until the fall apart, even if that means that they are woefully out of fashion. Rich people buy expensive clothes that are pre-worn and occaionally threadbare in order to keep up with the latest fashion trends.

6. Poor people get the last laugh at the supermarket with coupons. Rich people get the last laugh at the stock market with short stocks.
7. Poor people deal with emergencies by taking advantage of payday loans. Rich people deal with emergencies by firing people looking forward to payday.