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May 27, 2009

7 indications that zombies have quietly invaded your small town.

1. Sign as you enter town now reads, "Welcome to the Brain Basket of the Midwest."
2. Volunteer fire fighters are suddenly afraid of open flames.
3. Gladys, the waitress at the local diner, has always been one to chew off her customer's ear but she's gotten a bit literal in recent weeks.
4. Downtown Fourth of July Celebration mistakenly promoted as an "I Scream Social"
5. The mayor decides to run for re-election, even though he died last year.
6. Local barber has been a tad aggressive when a customer asks for a little off the top.
7. Everyone's favorite bartender now laughs nervously when locals ask for a stiff one.


  1. "Zombie Survival" ... How about when the same ineffective leadership who still rant 'n rave about 'people north of 8 mile' wanting to run your empty city ...

    ... sorry for the political rant ... we just have zombies lumbering around City Hall here!

  2. How do you get rid of them again? Not silver bullets, not garlic or stakes. (Mmmm- garlic steaks)- Must remember to check that.. Oh. I just did:
    There you go then. Sharpening my brain-pan slicing stryker saw even as we speak.

  3. How very witty you are.....your blog is the second on my list daily....Mother

  4. This has little to do with your actual post, but...I saw a book the other day that I believe is a 'must have.' You don't necessarily have to read it, but it should be on your shelf.

    Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

    I laughed so hard at the title that I pee'd a little.

  5. BigMark: Thanks for being an urban response since zombies aren't limited to small towns.

    Husbands: The shotgun, chainsaw, machete industry would have you think that zombie's must be dispatched violently. In truth, zombies are drama queens. If you just ignore them, they'll wander off harmlessly until they find someone who will pay attention to them.

    Mother: My own mother couldn't have said it better.

    Earl: I know this book. It has the distinction of appealing to both nerds and lit majors.

  6. Fab '60s rock group The Zombies get the key to the city, and George Romero is elected mayor.

  7. Jerry: Good points, zombies aren't known for their subtlety