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May 9, 2009

It's gradution week!! Here are 10 potential ice-breakers for the receptions and celebrations to come.

For traditional students:
1. This is what you've been waiting for! Now get a job, grow old, and die.
2. Welcome to the real world, graveyard of dreams.
3. Employers are lining up to hire you! They love firing experienced people and hiring mopes like you for half the money.
4. I hope you like cubicles 'cause a 2.0 gpa ain't gonna get you very far.
5. Have your parents turned your old bedroom into a exercise room yet? Oh, good! You'll be needing it now that your 5 years of play time are drawing to a close.

For non-traditional adult students:
1. Way to go but your boss still thinks you're a useless jerk.
2. Never has someone done so little to accomplish so much. Here's to faking it.
3. You're a great example to your children. They can follow your lead of failing out of college, getting knocked up, and graduating twenty years later after an extended career in retail sales.
4. Hey, let's not lose perspective here. You're still paunchy and have more years behind you than ahead so ratchet back the enthusiasm a bit there, Einstein.
5. Well, at least you have something interesting for the obit now.

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