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May 25, 2009

Now that I've finally seen the new Star Trek, 10 phaser settings I'd like to see.

Set phasers to . . .

1. Shut up.
2. Duh! (not an actual setting, just an ironic option on the dial to be noted when someone speaks the obvious.)
3. That's enough trips to the buffet, tubby.
4. Fart (really funny when you've been drinking.)
5. Obfuscate
6. Limbaugh (replaces Powell setting.)
7. Beer me.
8. Dance I and Dance II (Dance I plays dance music. Dance II is for shooting at people's feet.)
9. Get off the road you moron.


  1. 11. Poop-a-little

    That'll slow 'em down.

  2. Earl: That's better than all mine, you win.

    Jerry: Isn't Shatner British for poop-a-little?

  3. When your new and improved Phaser goes onsale, please let me know!