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May 14, 2009

What you see vs. what Dick Cheney sees.

1. You see Barack Obama. Dick sees a powerful Islamofascist determined to destroy America.
2. You see Colin Powell. Dick sees a no-good dirty traitor.
3. You see homosexuals and lesbians. Dick sees Sodomites and Gomorrahians determined to gay up America. (Dick squints when he looks at his daughter so that she always looks like the little girl he loves.)
4. You see Harry Whittington. Dick sees some jerk who owes him an apology for getting his face in the way of buckshot meant for captive birds.
5. You see Rush Limbaugh. Dick sees a golden unicorn running upon a totally ungay rainbow toward the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library.
6. You see "Happy Days" and love the Fonz. Dick sees what appears to be the real world and loves the Potsie.
7. You see waterboarding and think torture. Dick sees waterboarding and thinks BOOYAH!!!
8. You Google Earth and say, "Hey, there's my house!" Dick sees Google . . . never mind, can't mention this or the terrorists might get him.
9. You see international travel as a way to expand your horizons and learn about different cultures. Dick sees international travel as a way to expand the chance different cultures might attempt to try him for war crimes.
10. You see small children as our future. Dick sees small children as the source of the innocent blood Satan demanded in exchange for eternal life.


  1. Excellent tribute to a real asshole.
    By the way, veterans see wars, Cheney sees five deferments.

  2. I think this is one of my favorite lists yet! And I barely noted any typos this time...

  3. Boy, people really hate that Cheney guy. By the way, Denise, I've been trying to clean up my typos but I should stop this. Usually they are the best parts of my lists.