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June 12, 2009

9 reasons you should avoid the hobo sno-cone stand.

1. They get the ice from out behind the fish market.
Creative flavor combinations including Mulligan Stew, Ripple, and Beenie Weenie sound good on paper but they are a bit underwhelming in practice.
The yellow syrup is supposed to be banana but it just sort of tastes salty.
4. If you order a Fuzzy Navel sno-cone, they garnish it with belly button lint.
Kids love the Tiger’s Blood flavor but there aren’t any tigers around these parts so they use raccoon blood instead.
“Hold the beard hair” is considered a special order and costs extra.
Ordering is sort of a gamble since once they take your money, you never know when the boxcar is going to carry off the sno-cone stand.
A Rainbow sno-cone is just various shades of brown.
9. The tip jar is an ashtray and the tips are cigarette butts.


  1. #3 Just how did you know of the salty taste of the ingredient the hobo is using?

  2. I know the answer! You mistook your wife's speciman,in the fridge, for lemonade.

  3. 10. They wash their hands before they go to the bathroom. That way they don't forget.

  4. 11. The music is just a loop of the first line to "Auld Lang Syne": Should ooold aquaintance, beeefergot dahdahsdhssshadada.
    If you order something called a 'fuzzy navel sno-cone', you deserve every ounce of disappointment.

  5. Scarecrow: Read Mother's comment

    Mother: Yep, that's why it's salty.

    Earl: I'm supposed to be the clown around here - that's two days in a row that you topped me.

    Husbands: Do you have fuzzy navels down south? I mean the flavor.

  6. #8 - Oh my. That's hideous and awesome.
    I hope they donate your brain to science.

  7. Oh, this is fantastic! You should really write for Letterman!