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June 4, 2009

ATTENTION: Superman nerds of the Internet, I have questions.

1. Does Clark Kent have a belly button?
2. If Superman were real, would he file a restraining order against Nicholas Cage?
3. Who would win a fight? Superman or the Cheneybot-2000 Mark III model cyborg?
4. Reverse the orbit of Earth? Would that send us back in time or cause catastrophic seismic, volcanic, and tidal activity?
5. If Clark Kent were a douchebag and wanted to get the Superman logo tattooed on his arm, would the tattoo needles pierce his skin?
6. He's always wearing the blue and red spandex. What do you think - skidmarks?
7. Which is most embarassing: Krypto the Superdog, Beppo the Supermonkey, Streaky the Supercat, or Comet the Superhorse?
8. One of Superman's greatest weaknesses is magic. Does this mean he dislikes Criss Angel as much as the rest of us?
9. If Clark Kent uses sun block, would he lose his powers?
10. Gene Hackman or Kevin Spacey? (Pick the correct answer, you're a proper nerd, pick the other, you're an idiot.)


  1. I heard that you can get any baked on food stuff off of your non-teflon cookware in mere seconds using an SOS pad of Super Pubes.

    That's just what I heard.

  2. Earl: I think this is an urban myth. First, an SOS pad of Super Pubes could quickly scrape the crust from our planet so it would completely destroy a teflon pan. Second, an SOS pad of Super Pubes could never be create since you there are no blades sharp enough to cut them and they are too firmly anchored into his super junk for them to fall out.

  3. Interesting: He can fly, but his costume doesn't have one.
    Kevin Spacey. Opinions be damned!

  4. Husbands: you're in the Southern Hemisphere so it's like you live in a Bizzaro world in which everything am backwardz. This explains backwards flushing toilets and a dipperless night sky and a fondness for Keven Spacey over Gene Hackman.