1. Map their daily paths and provide free food every 20 yards.
2. Thank them vociferiously for every bit of wisdom they pass along to you - "oh my, I could never had unlocked this door unless you were there to give me a 20 minute lecture of the process."
3. Institute "Bring Your Pillow To Work Day"
4. Make every day "Bring Your Pillow To Work Day"
5. Perfect a worried expression so that you can use it whenever they tell you how challenging it is to work 20 hours a week.
6. Find ways to pay them more and to promote them without any expectations.
7. Pat them on the head when they call a meeting to discuss the new cut and paste PC technology they've just discovered.
8. Create more week-long breaks.
9. Hire a dozen staff members to help them through their day-to-day duties, like brushing their hair, empty their bladders, and finding free food.
10. Provide them a bag of bread crumbs so that they might find their way from one place to another.
October 5, 2009
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I would love to work at a place like this!!
ReplyDeleteMichael - it's the closest you can get to fuedal England. I am a vassal though, not a lord.
ReplyDeleteI love "Bring your pillow to work" day. I once implemented "Pajama Day" when I worked on Capitol Hill. Unfortunately, I was the only one that participated. Oh boy, the looks I got each Friday.
ReplyDeleteWow, that's some pretty high expectations there.
ReplyDeleteHmmm. I think I'll go get my pillow.