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June 8, 2009

7 personal delusions

1.  Pie counts as a daily fruit/vegetable serving.
2.  Hard work is rewarded.
3.  Repeated washing causes my pants to shrink - it's the pants I tell you, not me.
4.  Beer is a medical supply and should be covered by whatever health care reform we have in the works.
5.  Dick Cheney is a cyborg.  (I keep saying this but I don't hear it repeated on the Internet nearly enough.  Remember, refer to him as a Cheneybot-2000 Mark III model cyborg so that I'll know you're spreading my delusion.)
6.  Hats are for men, caps are for boys.
7.  A man's worth can be determined by the quality of the biscuits and gravy he cooks.


  1. 1. Since Pres. Reagan said it counts that way at lunch ... I have always thought that of stuff like carrot cake.

    2. Bad news ... this isn't a delusion. It usually is. The catch is that the hard work doesn't necessarily have to be fair. Some of the cats that have escaped the finacial problems did so with Billions! I am sure they 'worked hard' to do that, aren't you?

    3. Agreed!

    4. I feel that way about Astoria Chocolate Chip cookies!! Write a 'script for a dozen!

    5. After listening to the comments he made about same sex marriage, I think that there is an update to be downloaded ... get yours today!

    6. Again, agreed!

    7. Dag! You mean I am not a man? My gravy never comes out right, and if it were not for Pilsbury, I'd never know what a biscuit was!

  2. Big Mark: #2, it's good to see that you have that delusion too. If not for deluded folks like us, nothing would get done.

    #7 Pillsbury tube biscuits are a gadget and men love gadgets so this isn't a major issue. But you gotta work on your gravy.

  3. 8. Size doesn't matter. Besides, even a 747 looks small when you fly it through the Grand Canyon.

  4. Number one has been my delusion for 70 years and you can definitely see that I have been rewarded for it.

  5. Number 4 actually made me burst into tears.

  6. I'm with you on most of this, especially the one about pie. And Cheneybot 2000. Mark III model, of course. The Mark II kept randomly shooting things.

  7. Wow, you're right! #2 is definitely a delusion. If you do #2 too well, you only get rewarded with more. And if you slow down, it is very much noticed...but yet no one notices the slackers!