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June 8, 2009

7 personal delusions

1.  Pie counts as a daily fruit/vegetable serving.
2.  Hard work is rewarded.
3.  Repeated washing causes my pants to shrink - it's the pants I tell you, not me.
4.  Beer is a medical supply and should be covered by whatever health care reform we have in the works.
5.  Dick Cheney is a cyborg.  (I keep saying this but I don't hear it repeated on the Internet nearly enough.  Remember, refer to him as a Cheneybot-2000 Mark III model cyborg so that I'll know you're spreading my delusion.)
6.  Hats are for men, caps are for boys.
7.  A man's worth can be determined by the quality of the biscuits and gravy he cooks.

7 comments:

  1. 1. Since Pres. Reagan said it counts that way at lunch ... I have always thought that of stuff like carrot cake.

    2. Bad news ... this isn't a delusion. It usually is. The catch is that the hard work doesn't necessarily have to be fair. Some of the cats that have escaped the finacial problems did so with Billions! I am sure they 'worked hard' to do that, aren't you?

    3. Agreed!

    4. I feel that way about Astoria Chocolate Chip cookies!! Write a 'script for a dozen!

    5. After listening to the comments he made about same sex marriage, I think that there is an update to be downloaded ... get yours today!

    6. Again, agreed!

    7. Dag! You mean I am not a man? My gravy never comes out right, and if it were not for Pilsbury, I'd never know what a biscuit was!

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  2. Big Mark: #2, it's good to see that you have that delusion too. If not for deluded folks like us, nothing would get done.

    #7 Pillsbury tube biscuits are a gadget and men love gadgets so this isn't a major issue. But you gotta work on your gravy.

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  3. 8. Size doesn't matter. Besides, even a 747 looks small when you fly it through the Grand Canyon.

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  4. Number one has been my delusion for 70 years and you can definitely see that I have been rewarded for it.

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  5. Number 4 actually made me burst into tears.

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  6. I'm with you on most of this, especially the one about pie. And Cheneybot 2000. Mark III model, of course. The Mark II kept randomly shooting things.

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  7. Wow, you're right! #2 is definitely a delusion. If you do #2 too well, you only get rewarded with more. And if you slow down, it is very much noticed...but yet no one notices the slackers!

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