1. My dog ate my blouse.
2. I define marriage as a union between a man and a topless model.
3. I can't be certain how many people have sneaked a picture of me while I was changing or adjusting my clothes. (This is a paraphrase of what she actually said. For me, I can be certain the number is zero.)
4. Boobs are a central aspect of my Christianity. (That would make her a Boobtist.)
5. Donald Trump says that in today's world it's normal for there to be topless photos of beautiful women so who are you to argue with him? Are you saying he doesn't understand normal?
6. Freedom of speech also protects my boobs' right to speak their minds and they say, "Look at me, fellas!"
Showing posts with label boobs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boobs. Show all posts
February 17, 2009
As long as you're stuck watching a chick flick, here are 5 ways to make them more watchable.
1. Add super-intelligent apes who have set their simian sights on global geopolitical domination.
2. Barack Obama. He can fix anything.
3. Male lead's debilitating disease is miraculously cured before the first plot point so that the rest of the movie can focus on Wolverine fighting robots.
4. Boobs
5. Matthew McConaughey role played by Alien. Kate Hudson role played by Predator.
2. Barack Obama. He can fix anything.
3. Male lead's debilitating disease is miraculously cured before the first plot point so that the rest of the movie can focus on Wolverine fighting robots.
4. Boobs
5. Matthew McConaughey role played by Alien. Kate Hudson role played by Predator.
February 16, 2009
5 indications that you might be living a chick flick
1. You're living your dream life in the big city but secretly longing for 10 years to pass so that you can return home for your high school reunion and be convinced by an old girlfriend that your dream life actually involves wrinkle-free khakis and chocolate labs.
2. You and your roomie sing catchy old songs that people have mostly forgotten using hairbrushes as pretend microphones.
3. You need to be in a city that's four hours away but, try as you might, the drive takes three days and you arrive with one of your car doors and the front bumper having fallen off along the way.
4. No matter how many times you call the police, Matthew McConaughey won't put his shirt on.
5. Even though it would make everything much more interesting, there is 0% chance that you'll see any boobs.
2. You and your roomie sing catchy old songs that people have mostly forgotten using hairbrushes as pretend microphones.
3. You need to be in a city that's four hours away but, try as you might, the drive takes three days and you arrive with one of your car doors and the front bumper having fallen off along the way.
4. No matter how many times you call the police, Matthew McConaughey won't put his shirt on.
5. Even though it would make everything much more interesting, there is 0% chance that you'll see any boobs.
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